You’ll not hear these weather words on NPR

It’s almost as if NPR’s standards & practices boss had Minnesota newswriters in mind when he issued his annual memo today on what not to say when telling stories about the weather.

Just get a look at these no-no’s:

– “ ‘Tis the season to …” No, it ’tisn’t.

– “Big chill …” Big whoopie.

– “ ‘Twas the night before …” It ’twas?

– “Brave the elements …” Only if you’re trekking to the Pole.

– “Over the river and through the woods …” It’s been a while since we rode a sleigh to grandmother’s house.

– “Hunker down …” Have you ever hunkered?

– “Bah, humbug.” Be miserly with your references to Dickens.

– “Old man winter (or Ol’ Man Winter) …” Let’s ban him and his cousin, Mother Nature.

– “White stuff …” Just say snow.

– “Oh, the weather outside is …” Don’t put that song in my head!

– “Jack Frost …” What, are we doing nursery rhymes?

– “It’s beginning to look a lot like …” Not that song either!

– “Deep freeze …” We get it, it’s cold.

– “Yes, Virginia.” No, Korva.

– “Nipping at our noses (or anything else) …” Nip that one in the bud.

– “Christmas came early for …” Really? Seems like it’s always on Dec. 25.

– “Enough is enough …” Yes, we’ll all be tired of winter at some point. Don’t remind us.

– “Jing-a-ling.” Jing-a-don’t.

– “First flakes …” See “superlatives and why they’re almost always wrong.”

– “A Christmas Grinch stole …” Every burglar doesn’t have to be be turned into a Dr. Seuss character this time of year.

– “Bone-chilling …” That’s the kind of look Korva just gave me.

– “Santa’s elves …” They’re everywhere! But not on our air!

– “Snowpocalypse …” What, are we The Weather Channel all of a sudden?

– “Snowmageddon …” See “Snowpocalypse.”

– “On the Xth day of Christmas …” The song is boring enough as it is.

– “Winter wonderland …” You like it so much? Fine, then you shovel me out.

It’s a shame, though, that he failed to warn against the attitude that if snow and cold is coming, it’s inherently an evil event. See the previous NewsCut post, for example.

But surely he’s left some cliches out. Which “favorites” of yours didn’t make the cut?