To celebrate freedom, America tortures its dogs

If dogs could talk, the first question they’d probably ask is, “what’s the deal with humans?”

Alas, it’s a mystery even to the homo sapiens among us, especially the owners of canines who, by the time night falls at this time of year, are holding quivering balls of fur.

So Margery Eagan, cohost of WGBH’s “Boston Public Radio,” writes a plea in today’s Boston Globe to people with illegal fireworks and a plan to bomb the streets: Don’t.

It’s unlikely she actually thinks it will do any good for the 40 percent of dogs who are tortured by the sound of fireworks. One of the deals with humans, pups, is we don’t take to people or dogs who stand in the way of whatever we want to do even if it results in a big jump in runaway dogs at this time of the year.

Of course, it’s true that fretting dog owners like me can get to the vet for doggie tranquilizers. I’ve done it every year. One minute Harry the P, Best Dog from Sea to Sea, is trotting about the house. The next, his little legs splay out from underneath him. He’s but a mophead on the floor, gonzo.

But I can’t keep him doped up for a week. I shouldn’t have to.

So you may not care about your neighbors, or like them much either. But when you can’t resist exploding that M-80 days and weeks after the Fourth, stop and think about what you’re doing to your neighbor’s trusting, tail-wagging little dog, and save that nasty explosive till next year.

Stop and think about something or someone else? Good one.

Assuming the fireworksers ignore the request, she suggests dog owners close the windows and shades, turn on all the fans in the house for white noise, and put the dogs in their kennel but don’t close the door.

And while you’re waiting for the fireworks to start this week, get your dog tagged and chipped.